Debra Gauthier

When I was seventeen years old my mom brought home a man that she met at a country western dance.  I was sitting at the kitchen table doing my homework when he walked up and slapped me on the side of the head as he sarcastically said, “Is the good little school girl doing her homework?”  I could smell the alcohol on his breath and a rage rose up in me as I grabbed the chair I was sitting in and struck him on the back as he walked away.  He aggressively turned toward me as my mother stepped in between us.  It was at that moment she made a statement that cut me to the core and deeply wounded my soul.  She said, “If you don’t like it around here you can leave!”  I was crushed my own mother would choose this man that she had just met over her own daughter.  That night I packed my clothes and left, carrying the bitter pain with me for many years.

As a result of the wound I suffered from my mother I put up a wall to protect my tender heart from any further pain.  What I didn’t realize was that wall also kept me from receiving God’s healing love.  I heard this powerful statement that there are only two important things in the world – love and forgiveness. We can’t have love without forgiveness and we can’t have forgiveness without love.  So where does this love come from?  It originates from God himself because he is love.  I don’t know about you but I had no grid for love or truth for that matter so I searched for it in all the wrong places.  When I encountered this God kind of love I knew in that moment that I needed his forgiveness.  I am so grateful that he did not look at my life and say, “You’re too far gone!”  No, to my surprise he reached his arms of love toward my wayward soul and embraced me like a loving father.

That connection with my Heavenly Father filled a void that could never be met by anyone or anything in this world.  As a result of receiving God’s love I was able to forgive my mother and today we celebrated her 80^th birthday together!  I love the way God takes our broken lives and makes something absolutely beautiful.  If there is someone you need to forgive go ahead and receive God’s love so you, too, can experience the joy of forgiveness.  (This story is an excerpt from the chapter on Forgiveness in the book, Bright Lights, Dark Places)

Did I ever tell you guys my Vito story? He is the back story for a scene in Chapter 10 of my book, “Bright Lights, Dark Places”. Vito owned a mountain bike store in Henderson, Nevada where I lived. One day I walked into his shop packed with every type of mountain bike imaginable. A lean guy with white hair, mustache and a warm smile approached me as I was looking around. This was Vito who didn’t just own a mountain bike shop, he lived it! I immediately caught his passion for riding and left that day with a $5000 custom built Vantana bike but more importantly the beginning of a friendship.

I began racing mountain bikes and Vito sponsored me and several other ladies. He had a way of inspiring and bringing the best out of the gals. We did many training rides together and our friendship grew. One day during a very difficult time in my life I went out for a ride in the canyons near my home when the unexpected happened. I was careening down a narrow path in the Red Valley when two guys were coming up the trail. In a split second a grabbed my disc brakes, all of them, flipping over my handle bars and hitting the ground so hard it cracked my helmet, snapped my clavicle off the left shoulder and fractured my right thumb.

After going through surgery Vito came to see me and I told him to take my bike and sell it. I was through with mountain bike riding! He looked at me with tears in his eyes and that warm comforting smile as he shook his head and left. A few months later I called Vito to find out if he had sold my bike. He said, “Come on down to the shop I want to talk to you.” When I arrived Vito led me to the back of his store and pointed to my bike sitting there all clean and shiny. A fear rose up in me because I knew that Vito didn’t sell my bike because friends don’t let friends quit. As I reasoned with him he wasn’t buying my excuses and told me that I shouldn’t let the accident stop me from riding. What really got me was when he said, “You’re a tougher woman than that!”

You know what happened next! “Let’s go riding,”Vito said with a smile across his face.  I will never forget that day when Vito loaded our bikes onto the back of his convertible Corvette and we drove out to Cottonwood, a popular place for mountain bike riders. I was trying not to appear nervous but it wasn’t working and Vito broke the tension when he reminded me how fun it was to ride. Then he told me the story when I had to go to the bathroom really bad. So I did what all mountain bike riders do in that situation; I found a bush and took care of business. In my haste I squatted behind the first bush I could find. Then I realized what I had done. “Hey can you see me?” I yelled out. Vito and Greg looked at each other, trying to refrain from laughing and yelled back, “Not at all” as my butt was exposed. That story broke the tension I got back on my bike and rode again.

So why do I tell you this story? Maybe you are in a tough place in your life and you need someone like Vito, a friend that sticks closer than a brother. You may have lost hope with people and it’s hard to be vulnerable and allow anyone to get close. I encourage you today to take a risk and let the Vito’s in this world walk with you out of your pain.